crystal

you know how sometimes when your life is pretty smooth sailing? then suddenly some new person enters into your life and totally turns it upside down. the person need not be someone close to you. he can enter the life of someone close to you and then the damage will be done. of course you have a god given ability to adapt. but me? the stubborn idiot that i am? that makes things harder.

so it was on one average day that i decide to get a time out and think things through. i get my pack, stuff in a few things and leave the house. it was a pretty dark day. mainly because of the rain. had to brave the rain for a few blocks before i finally reach the bus stop. i dont really look back. i just keep going east for no obvious reasons. you know maybe get to the coast watch the sunset and maybe join a few friends who were staying over at the chalet? usually i would plan my route since i'm not really a know-it-all when it comes to bus routes. but now it was an impromptu journey. i took one bus and at the end of that route i took another from the bus depot which would take me to the seaside. if i forgot to mention, i left my house in the evening, so by the time i took the second bus it was already dark and still raining. very heavily. i realised i was the only one waiting for that bus. well that was logical. i mean who would want to go to the beach in a weather like that? well, it was too late to just turn back now. maybe the rain would stop by the time i get there. the route did look long too.

the bus pulled in. it got on and caught glimpse of the bus driver. he looked strange to say the least. his skin was so pale with a tinge of grey that you could almost mistake him for a dead body. but he was wearing some really cool shades (at night?) and some black coat (the kind which you dont see bus drivers wearing). it was a cold night so i didnt think much about. surprise surprise, i was the only one in the bus. i find a seat somewhere in the middle near the window and make myself comfortable. i could barely see the outside considering the amount of raindrops were falling. i could only see the lights of the streetlamps and approaching vehicles.

i started to feel woozy. you know, i hadn't slept at all the night before. the lights outside the bus began to get warped. the familiar yellow lights began to get replaced with greens and blues and reds. probably my imaginations. my eyes began to close.

"HEY KID!"

i jumped up. i don't know how much time had passed since i closed my eyes, whether it was a few seconds or hours. wait, it couldn't be hours. the bus driver would have chased me away. i looked around. still empty. but this time, someone was sitting with me. he looked like what? in his early thirties? and he looked rather familiar too.

"Whats the matter? sit down kid."

sheepishly i sit down. "Why'd you wake me up? i didnt notice you getting on." after the initial shock, i was rather irritated.
"kid, you look half dead. how do you expect to notice when i get up? besides, i was bored. needed to talk to anybody."

i was puzzled. "do i know you?"
"that is the same question i wanted to ask you when i saw you kid. you look really familiar. anyways, are you running away from home or something?"

looking out, i only saw pitch black and more rain. the only lights outside were from the headlamps of the bus. not even the occasional car. the road was empty.
"kid?"

"no i'm not, why do you think so?"

"because its late and you don't look old enough to be living on your own."

"no, i just needed some time alone. besides, i'm going to sleepover with some friends."

i don't know why i was even talking to him. i don't usually talk to strangers at all but there was something, warm and comforting about him. there was silence, besides the loud drumming of the bus engine.
"so, where you going?" i asked.
"me? nowhere! i'm a free spirit. wandering around wherever i choose to go. it seems i found my way back home."
"you live around here?" i quering trying to look outside for any signs of habitation.
"used to. anyway, it wasnt exactly here but more like in this country."

i tried to look at him without making it seem like i actually was. he had a silver chain clutched in his hand. on the chain was probably the most beautiful crystal and silver pendant i had even. like really. if i could, i buy it for my future wife or something and just so you know, i'm not really attracted to jewellery in the first place. that pendant was special. for some strange reason.

"cool chain, whats it for?"
"oh this? its a good luck charm. i found it many years ago on a day just like this in a pile of mud when i got off a bus. sometimes it works, and sometimes, it screws up at the wrong time. i keep it with me all the time."
"looks very nice."

more silence. but i think this time the guy was thinking about something. its like the look on his face tells you he is going to pour out his life story to you or something. true enough i think he did.

"you know this chain has been with me through a lot of shit. you know when i was a student, i did pretty okay. got the good grades and all that. went to a good university. but grades weren't everything. i was this quiet average guy. didn't really have a lot of presence. too shy to talk to people. acting like an idion around my crush and doing the silliest of things. i was like a big wuss. and sometimes that seriously sucks you know."

i chuckled. i didn't know why. maybe it was out of empathy. "tell me about it. i kind of know how you felt," i found myself replying.

"hah. you think. but you really don't. i got out of school. got a great job. moved out of my parent's house, away from my parents who were driving me nuts in their personal quest to get me married. the job was good you know. good money. but even there i wasn't happy. people took advantage of me. made me do their work. i tried to do something about it but i just could not stand up for myself see? i just couldn't bring myself to just tell the people who pissed me off to f*** off. nah. i just lived with it. hoping someday that everybody would change."

"ouch." that was all i could say. it did seem quite sad. the bus wasn't stopping at any stops which seemed highly unusual. but then again the bus was going in some completely deserted road. but hey, that was highly unusual too. but the guy's story seemed too interesting for me to worry about all that.

"yeah. but then one day, i met Crystal. from the moment i met her i knew that she was the one. really. it wasn't just her looks. it was her personality, her really really nice way with people. the day i saw her, i fell in love. i was ready to do anything for her and i just wanted to marry her. that was how much she meant to me."

"what happened? did you two get together?"

"never happened. we got along perfectly. but i could never approach her and tell her how i really felt. i couldn't make myself. she probably thought we were just really good friends. it went on like that for a few years. then i heard she was going away from the country for a long time. i couldn't bear to be away from her. i quit my job and left my home after her. after the same thing for a few years, i finally got my act together. i was going to tell her i loved her. but then, she just disappeared. i never saw her after that. i searched everywhere, travelling from place to place, country to country. sometimes she would call me and ask me how i was. she would tell me that she cared alot for me and told where she was staying. i'd go to that place only to find her gone. a few weeks later, another call, another country. fives years went by just like that. now, here i am. back where i started. she was always one step ahead of me and i could never catch up.
ironic isn't it? the day i change myself was the day i felt the biggest loss in my life. "

the guy sighed. it must've been painful for him. i just hoped that he wouldn't start crying or rob me when my guard was down. but i doubt he was lying. there was truth in his eyes.

"hey kid. don't ever make the same mistake i did. take charge of your life. don't let people push you around and take advantage of you. and when you see someone you think you love, tell her. or at least do something. don't procrastinate or delay. it'll screw up your life just like it did mine. you have no idea how much i've suffered and how much i've tried to somehow change my life. remember this kid. remember it good."

"i will." that was all i could say. i mean i didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything. i don't know. but then, i felt so sleepy, i felt my eyes closing again. i tried to pry them open but it was of no use. its hard to stop the descent into deep sleep especially when your body really needs it.

i jolted awake and looked around me. the guy was gone. and outside, i could see cars on the road and houses along it. it was still raining heavily though but everything looked considerably much more normal. i probably missed my stop. so i got up with my things, checking if he had stolen anything. nothing was missing. i alighted at the next top and just sat there, thinking about my next course of action. i could wait for the rain to stop and take a nice long stroll to the beach. or maybe i could take the bus back to my stop. it was then i notice something glinting in the mud under a street light. risking getting soaked in the rain, i dashed out and grabbed it.

it was a silver chain with a crystal pendant.

if you actually read through everything, thank you. (: it was just some bad writing i penned down during my absence. haha.